


ABOUT A BOY

by Knightsbridge07



Category: Black Panther (2018), Endgame - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), infinity war - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Insatiable AU - Freeform, RoyalShield
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2019-10-31 20:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17856017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knightsbridge07/pseuds/Knightsbridge07
Summary: The possibility of undoing Thanos' snap leaves Steve and Shuri conflicted.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [baby_bubastis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/baby_bubastis/gifts), [wakandawinterprincess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakandawinterprincess/gifts), [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts), [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts), [TheRavynFire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRavynFire/gifts), [SilverCherie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverCherie/gifts), [Malaiikka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malaiikka/gifts), [CindersAndBrimstone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CindersAndBrimstone/gifts), [misstoryunfolded](https://archiveofourown.org/users/misstoryunfolded/gifts), [rachealina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachealina/gifts), [chizoma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chizoma/gifts), [lilithenaltum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithenaltum/gifts), [ShootingStar13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShootingStar13/gifts), [crazyfan15](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyfan15/gifts), [Cao_the_dreamer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cao_the_dreamer/gifts).
  * Inspired by [insatiable](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17201840) by [wakandawinterprincess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakandawinterprincess/pseuds/wakandawinterprincess). 



> For baby_bubastis, wakandawinterprincess, yellowsuns, Oopswakanda, TheRavynFire, SilverCherie, Leodicaprih0e, CindersAndBrimstone, misstoryunfolded, rachealina, chizoma, lilithenaltum, ShootingStar13, crazyfan15, Cao_the_dreamer.
> 
> COMMENTS, feel free!  
> 

On every side, there were rationales a plenty, solid arguments for why if it could be done, it should be. Essentially, there was no wrong viewpoint. In the aftermath of Thanos’ invasion and subsequent snap, life carried on—for the hopeful who prayed earnestly for the impossible, and for the pragmatic who valiantly forged ahead and built anew from the devastation.

 

It was the most insidious kind of havoc Thanos could have wrought—a situation in which no one was wrong, and everyone had something to lose or gain.

 

And of course, the remaining Avengers shared the same anxieties.

 

On a whole other planet, Peter Parker had dissolved in Tony’s arms, and he was desperate to get the boy back, as he’d all but adopted him. He’d also witnessed Dr. Strange and three of the Guardians of the Galaxy crumble—all after physically fighting Thanos and losing his armor.

 

For a while, it was unknown to Rocket that he’d lost all the Guardians. Mercifully, Groot’s death was the only one he’d witnessed. That trauma alone had been quite enough.

 

For Clint, it would mean getting back Laura and the children.

 

Thor, now quite possibly the only Asgardian in existence, just might see the return of the entire remainder of his people, his culture, maybe his brother.

 

Natasha and SHIELD would have Nick Fury and Maria Hill back.

 

Bruce would be one with the Hulk again.

 

Scott would be reunited with Hank Pym and Janet Van Dyne.

 

For Shuri, it would mean Wakanda’s king, her beloved brother T’Challa, returning to the throne.

 

And he would have Sam and Bucky and Wanda once more.

 

Steve feels his head spin as he stares at all the monitors. They’re tuned to various news channels from around the world, and all the talking heads are feverishly discussing Dr. Erik Selvig’s discovery—a breakthrough that could lead to the undoing of Thanos’ destruction. Of course, the scientist was quick to emphasize that his theory was still just a theory. Extensive testing would be needed. Once the news caught on, it raced throughout the world and beyond like a wildfire, igniting equal degrees of hope and dread. Shuri had released the years of research by her, Tony, and Bruce for public discourse. Maybe, she figured, some other good could come of it…some higher purpose might be achieved.

 

None of them could have foreseen this.

 

Next to him stands Queen Shuri, arms crossed over her chest like armor and an unreadable look on her face. Were it not for the near imperceptible trembling of her tapping fingers, she would have been the perfect picture of stoicism. Steve wants to touch her, comfort her. She is his wife, after all.

 

Aside from he and Shuri, General Okoye, Romonda, and several of the council elders are in the situation room of the palace, all watching the monitors with equally stone faces.

 

Finally, Shuri exhales a long breath and leaves the room, her long jacket whipping up a breeze.

 

Okoye uses the remote to shut off the screens.

 

Romonda is first to pierce the stifling silence.

 

“Captain, has there been any effort to reach out to Dr. Selvig or the other Avengers?” she asks, still facing the blank monitors.

 

“No, my lady. I’ll also hazard a guess that the queen hasn’t spoken to anyone either.”

 

“Maybe she is on her way to do that now,” Okoye says. “I suppose she has much to consider, as do you, Captain.”

 

“Yeah, yes…I, uh…I’ll go see what she’s up to.”

 

Steve leaves the room before his breathing becomes noticeably shallow. He zooms past the staffers who greet him in the hallway. He _has_ to get away because it feels as though the world is collapsing. He feels a cold he hadn’t felt since crashing a warplane into the ice at the end of World War II. When he comes upon a dark corner, Steve disappears into it. He slides down against the wall and covers his face.

 

 

# # #

 

 

Shuri is alone in her laboratory. She works until her fingers are numb—experiments, prototypes, formulas—trying to slog through several hundred problems at once. She looks back and forth from the holoscreens so much that her eyes and neck begin to hurt. The fatigue is gripping her, dragging her to what she knows will be a fitful sleep.

 

She turns her attention once again to her phone. Dr. Selvig has left a fourth message since that morning. She doesn’t want to talk to him, not now…at least not until she figures out what to say and how to prevent her composure from crumbling like a sandcastle. Shuri takes off her glasses and rubs at her eyes.

 

“It’s not nice to spy,” she says to the empty room.

 

Steve comes forth from the shadows, steps up behind her and begins to rub her shoulders. “It’s also not nice to miss dinner with your family,” he says and presses a kiss to the back of her neck.

 

She lays a tool on her work space and swivels her stool to face him. She plants a brief kiss on his lips and pulls him into a long hug. “Will you forgive me?”

 

“Only if you come to bed, preferably now.”

 

Shuri huffs a laugh and tightens her hug. Steve, sensing her need, reciprocates the gesture while rubbing circles into her back.

 

“I take it he’s been asleep for a while now?”

 

“Yeah, you missed bath time _and_ his bedtime story. That’s supposed to be a team effort, by the way.” Steve pulls back for a moment to look into her eyes. He kisses her forehead and rests his own against it. “Have you talked at all to Selvig?”

 

“No, he has called several times. What about you, have any of the Avengers tried to reach you?”

 

“I’ll need to check my messages to see.”

 

Shuri squeezes Steve’s hands, and he hears the unasked questions in the intimate quiet—questions they’re both afraid to ask or have answered.

 

“We’re not gonna solve anything tonight,” he whispers against her cheek and kisses it. “You need rest. _We_ need you to get some rest.”

 

“Okay, Captain, rest it is.”

 

“Good.”

 

Shuri lets out a yelp when he hoists her over his shoulder. “Just wanted to be sure you’d come with me immediately.”

 

 

# # #

 

Shuri is asleep in Steve’s arms, and he presses kisses to the top of her head. She’d latched onto him like a snake, and he reveled in the feel of her deceptively strong arms around his torso. He can feel himself drifting off when the whining from the baby monitor jerks him back to wakefulness.

 

Once he’s pried Shuri off, he heads into the adjoining nursery. A nightlight illuminates the way to the elaborate crib. Steve looks down with a smile at the tiny bundle whose brown eyes are wide open.

 

“Hi, sweet boy, hi. What’s got you all upset, huh?” Steve jiggles the baby’s tummy right before he picks him up. “Don’t worry, baby boy, Dad’s here, I’m right here.” As soon as the baby recognizes his father’s voice, he starts to coo and burble as Steve carries him to the changing table.

 

Khaled Rogers is four months old, chubby and angelic with honey-colored skin and dark curls. Born at ten pounds and twelve ounces, he was a healthy baby. Shuri had to deliver him via C-section instead of with the midwives in the birthing pool.

 

“This is _your_ fault, Rogers!” she’d screamed. “If I survive this, I’ll cut your heart out! You hear me? I will cut it out of you and _burn_ it!”

 

Steve laughed softly at the memory as he unfastened the baby’s navy and orange onesie and checked his diaper. “All clear there, thank God. Your little tummy’s been agreeable lately.”

 

Khaled made grabby hands at his father, indicating he wanted to be picked up. Steve scooped the boy into his arms again and settled him against his chest. He tried to put Khaled back in his crib, but he let out a short whine.

 

“So, you’re not wet or hungry. I suppose you just wanted some attention,” Steve jokes.

 

Khaled blinks and offers up a gummy smile and lets his head tumble against his father’s chest. Steve laughs and kisses the baby’s curly head. “Okay, sweetheart, we’ll sit in your rocking chair, get you back to sleep.”

 

Once the two are settled in the chair, Steve rocks slowly, rubbing the baby’s back and nuzzling his nose to his cheek. The chair faces the large picture window, and it allows him to see a full, bright moon.

 

When he’d learned of Shuri’s pregnancy shortly before their wedding, Steve’s first reaction had been fear. Because of the super-soldier serum, there was no telling what kind of effects a child would encounter. It was why he’d never given the idea of having a family any real consideration—it was too dangerous a prospect for mother and baby, and any losses would be too painful for him. He didn’t want to risk Shuri’s life in any way…not after everything they’d already been through.

 

“Well, I don’t care, Steve, I’m keeping it,” Shuri had said in answer to his _what ifs_.

 

She’d maintained her duties as queen, as well as her scientific work all while Steve kept a close eye on her. They agreed that at the slightest hint of trouble, she would cut back her schedule. When it appeared that her pregnancy was proceeding in a good direction, Steve became excited about the birth, taking it upon himself to design and decorate the nursery and purchase supplies from the markets in Birnin Zana. Most nights, he slept with a protective hand over his wife’s burgeoning bump, growing eager every day to see what combination of genetic and personality traits their baby would express. At his birth, when the doctor placed the sizeable boy in Steve’s arms, his face crumpled with tears of euphoria. A tired Shuri told him not to scare the baby with his ugly crying.

 

Khaled’s six-week check-up did reveal that his metabolism was higher than the average, thus his considerable appetite, and he did show noticeable degrees of strength and alertness for a newborn. His doctors surmised they were definite effects of the serum, an assessment which made Steve and Shuri’s hearts pound with fear. The doctors, however, said that this would pose no danger, but that they would want to regularly monitor him. All in all, he was a beautiful baby who could be a super soldier like his father.

 

The years after the snap had been tough on everyone. Steve and Shuri were both eaten alive with guilt over their perceived failures. In the midst of that, she got about rebuilding and running Wakanda, while he helped to maintain order in the country and heal rifts with the Avengers. They weren’t looking to fall in love during a tryst meant solely to alleviate their private pain and chase away the ghosts of those they’d lost. Their numbness had started to lift, and they let go of their mourning.

 

They couldn’t have come through so much turmoil only to possibly lose it all now. Whatever Dr. Selvig has discovered, Steve hopes with everything in him that he’ll still have his family when it’s all said and done.  For better or worse, it’s been more than five years, five years of progress, rebuilding, and healing. It wasn’t fair to throw the world into yet another cataclysm after the immense work it had taken to move ahead. What would Thanos’ victims expect to return to? What would their minds and bodies feel suddenly being drawn back from whatever void they were in? How might they throw off the world’s current fragile state? What services would be set up to care for them if they returned and found themselves displaced? There were almost endless numbers of factors to ponder, and each one carried its own heavy consequences. Whatever happened would mean severe emotional and mental body blows for all of humanity.

 

“Khaled, I love your mom and you so much, more than anything. You two are the best things I could ever have hoped for,” he whispers to the now sleeping baby. “We are gonna keep you safe, buddy, I promise.”

 

Steve rises from the chair with his son and slow-walks with him back to the crib. As he sets the boy down, Khaled’s nose and lips wrinkle up then settle back to restfulness. His little chest is rising and falling evenly.

 

He knew well what the news of Selvig’s theory meant to the other Avengers. They stood to regain those they loved most. He still felt occasional melancholy over Sam, Bucky, T’Challa, and Wanda, so their agony was not foreign to him.

 

To him, though, it was about so much more, a giggling ray of light who’d brightened his and Shuri’s world. Khaled _was_ their world. He’s now, he’s here _now_. And as much as he hurt for who was gone, he was concerned for who was still here.  For Steve, it was about a boy— _this_ boy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has sweet moments with his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For baby_bubastis, wakandawinterprincess, TheRavynFire, SilverCherie, Leodicaprih0e, CindersAndBrimstone, misstoryunfolded, rachealina, chizoma, lilithenaltum, ShootingStar13, crazyfan15, Cao_the_dreamer

Steve believes that baby Khaled knows his every thought and emotion. Normally, when he’s giving his son his afternoon bottle—a mix of Shuri’s breast milk and a high-protein formula that satisfies the demands of his metabolism—the boy wriggles about and has a mischievous glimmer in his big, brown eyes. Today, however, Khaled is still, save for the occasional flick of his fingers around the bottle and the slow blinking of his eyes. The baby is aware, Steve thinks, of his father’s disquieted spirit.

 

He doesn’t want his son to be a hero. Khaled will have enough on his shoulders as he grows up. If he chooses to, he will be king of Wakanda and the Black Panther. He will follow in the venerable footsteps of his grandfather and his uncle…and of his mother. His training will begin once he's 13. It’s enough that the boy will grow up in the public eye and that his every word and deed will be scrutinized and dissected by a relentless media.

 

All this reminded him of a song he'd heard years ago...in better times. Tony was blasting it over the speakers in his lab and singing along--rather badly, at that. _It's a thin line between love and hate_... Ultimately, that was his biggest fear...that feckless, razor-thin line between love and hate, friend and enemy, hero and villain...and how it might affect his sweet boy. It had been his issue with SHIELD's program of floating fortresses that could end lives without warning. It had been his concern with Tony's Iron Legions. It was the same nagging unease he had about the Sokovia Accords.

 

No, he didn't want those problems for his son, he hated the idea--the very real possibility--that Khaled might be dragged between extremes trying to protect the world. Steve sees it as his job to ensure that the boy will live as normal and peaceful a life as he can. He will gladly take on the terrorists, hostile aliens, and power-hungry despots to preserve his son's innocence. His heart will bear the pain of those he couldn't help if it means that Khaled won’t have to.

 

Steve rocks in the chair that faces the large picture window in the nursery. He looks down affectionately at the boy who has exhaled and pulled the drained bottle from his mouth for himself.

 

“All done, buddy?” he asks as he takes the bottle. He lifts the baby to look in his face.

 

He burbles and kicks his fat little legs.

 

“All righty, then, nap time. Yes, it’s nap time for you, sweet boy.”

 

Steve rests Khaled against his shoulder and begins gently patting his back. A sonorous burp emerges shortly, and Steve kisses his cheek.

 

As he walks in the small circle of the rug in the center of the room, Steve notices the framed photographs and sketches that adorn the walls. He’s drawn to one photo in particular taken a few weeks after Khaled’s birth. In it, Steve is outside in the palace gardens with a wide grin and sunglasses. The baby is bundled and tied to him in a brightly patterned sling. He recalled how one of the nannies had helped him to secure it around his body. That day, Steve had taken the baby on a short jaunt to the markets. He was followed at a distance by one of the Dora Milaje, as Shuri and Romonda had misgivings about allowing the prince outside the palace so soon after his birth. He smiles at the memory.

 

When Steve glances down at the baby, he’s already asleep, his warm breaths blowing against Steve’s chest. He nuzzles his nose in Khaled’s dark curls and inhales the scent of cocoa butter and aloe.

 

“Thought I might find you here,” Shuri says as she clicks the nursery door shut.

 

Steve turns from the photo to approach his wife. When they meet, he leans down to kiss her and to hand off the baby. Shuri sets him down in his crib after she kisses his temple and whispers, “I love you, little one.”

 

She turns back to her husband and walks up to him to take his hand.

 

“Did the nannies tell you where I was?” he asks.

 

“No. I just know that if you’re not at the job, you’re with me or Khaled. Simple process of elimination. I don’t get why we even have governesses if you’re going to do all their work.”

 

Steve grins, looking as though he’s dreaming, the way he _always_ looks when talking about their son. “I didn’t think I’d ever get to be a father. It’s kind of addictive.”

 

Shuri takes his arm and leads him to their room. Once inside, Steve sits on the bed and shifts to the middle. He opens his arms and she crawls up next to him. “What are you doing, Steve?”

 

“Not sure what you mean, love.”

 

“You still haven’t spoken to Tony Stark or the other Avengers. Dr. Selvig will be here next week.”

 

Steve blinked against the afternoon sun streaming through window. “You finally talked to him, huh?”

 

“I had to at some point,” she said.

 

“It’s been five years, Shuri…almost six, really.”

 

“I’m quite aware of that.”

 

“Yeah, well why are you doing this?” he says and turns his head to her. Steve immediately regrets his tone and curses to himself when he sees Shuri draw back as though he physically hit her.

 

“You say that as though I’m looking forward to it, Steve Rogers. Is that what you think? You think I don’t understand the ramifications of meeting with Selvig, huh?”

 

Steve says nothing. He can’t.

 

“Well, come on, Captain, answer the question!”

 

She’s scooted away from him now, trembling and tearful. He reaches out to her, slowly, so that she doesn’t flee from him.

 

“I’m sorry, love, I didn’t mean it that way. Please, okay?”

 

Shuri pushes his hand away and leans back against the headboard. She crosses her arms over her chest, huffing to calm herself down until she can speak again.

 

“Khaled and you are my life, Steve.”

 

“And you two are _my_ life. I just…”

 

“You just what?” Shuri says as her eyes roll to the top of her head.

 

Steve exhales. He knows he’s selfish. He knows he’s thinking only of his own feelings, and he hates himself for it. In rare moments—which come about as often as Haley’s Comet—he misses being a paragon of righteousness. Back then, it was easier to throw himself into the fire, thinking of that time when he would willingly jump headlong into the most chaotic part of any battle. That had been _his_ choice at a time when his prime directive had been to die for others, to throw himself on the live grenade. Now, though, he and all the rest of the world are on a different path with different choices—many of said choices had been made _for_ them.

 

He now views very few things in absolutes. Those absolutes are his wife and son, and he’d give anything to ensure _their_ safety and happiness.

 

Steve thinks back to when Khaled was born, how he stood outside the nursery window at the hospital with several other new fathers. He and the baby had both attracted considerable attention—Steve, quite likely the only white person in Wakanda, and little Khaled swaddled in a light blue blanket with a matching a cap on his head, and more than twice the size of the other babies. This fact did make his chest puff out a bit more.

 

No one could truly understand how he felt, though. He had every right to want to preserve the gifts he’d been given in Shuri and Khaled. Wouldn’t anyone else do the same in his position? If he were to submit to his 1940s ideals, he’d forbid his Shuri from meeting with Selvig. Of course, doing so would either get him laughed at or nut-punched or divorced. In any case, she’d never stand for it.

 

“I just…I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to consider what this all means,” he says with a trembling voice. “I-I don’t want to go back, and that’s what this feels like. You and Khaled are not acceptable risks.”

 

She turns to look at him, her grimace melting into softness and understanding. Shuri reaches up to wipe a tear from his cheek, then she scoots closer to him. For the first time, she sees the true depths of his fear. He’d tried for so long to hide it from her, to be brave for her and Khaled. Right then, the impossible happens…she falls deeper in love with him.

 

“My love, I am sure Dr. Selvig knows and understands that a lot has happened since the invasion. The Avengers know it, too,” she whispers. “Steve, even if we were to bring everyone back—bring _him_ back—I would still choose you.”

 

He shakes his head. “That’s not it, Shuri…I—”

 

“I know that’s not what you meant, Steve. I just want you to understand that. As much as I loved him—as much as we both _still do_ —I am not interested in going back,” she says as her lithe fingers gently tussle the hair at the nape of his neck. “My heart is with you.”

 

He melted into the touch, letting his eyes drift shut and letting her guide his head to rest on her lap where she continues to massage his scalp.

 

“I’m scared, too, but avoiding Selvig…avoiding the Avengers, who are our friends…it’s only going to strain things further. Besides, it could be years before anything is actually done. It isn’t just about the technology, there are politics involved—intergalactic politics.”

 

“Maybe,” Steve sighs. “Assuming we get around the politics, Selvig is still like you, Tony, Jane, and Bruce, he’s next-level smart. If anyone could’ve figured this out, it would’ve been one of you.”

 

“Enough about all this,” she chides gently. “I love you, Steve Rogers.”

 

She feels him smirk against her legs. He raises his head and moves to straddle her, causing her to let out a slight yelp.

 

“I love you, too, your majesty,” he says and kisses her deep and slow. “I don’t have anywhere else to be today.”

 

“I have a meeting in an hour,” she laughs.

 

“Cancel it.”

 

“What kind of queen would I be if I just tossed aside my pressing responsibilities to cavort with my husband?” Shuri says. But she’s already sliding down under Steve on the bed and dragging him down on top of her.

 

“Then I’ll make it quick.” He kisses her jaw, her chin, the tip of her nose, then lingers on her mouth.

 

“I’d prefer you didn’t.”

 

“Does this mean the meeting’s off?”

 

“One second.”

 

Steve watches as she taps out a hasty message on the holoscreen projected from her kimoyo bracelet.

 

“Meeting’s off,” she breathes out and flips them over. “Now, Captain, let's make _off_ the status of your clothes. Shall we?”

 

“Race ya?” Steve says with a challenging bounce of his left eyebrow.

 

“You’re on, soldier.”

 

They scramble out of their garments in seconds and are immediately all over each other again.

 

In the heat of their passion, they forget everything—meetings, arguments, politics. There’s only the two of them, chasing each other’s climaxes and declaring their love. In the back of Steve’s mind, he hopes and prays it can be like this forever—him, the woman he loves, and the baby boy asleep in his crib in the adjoining room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENTS ARE WELCOMED AND ENCOURAGED!


End file.
